Cooking French in England

I am in the midst of eating freshly made ratatouille with a giant loaf of French bread.  I'm not sure why this fact is so exciting.  It just is.

Okay, so that's a lie.  I do know why it's exciting, the truth is just a bit embarrassing.

It's the first time I've ever made myself a real meal.  Like a "follow the recipe" type meal.  I make killer pasta all the time, but I'm usually cheating with ready-made sauce.  And while I can also make great quesadillas, pita bread pizzas, and other food involving the oven and melted cheese, I wouldn't consider any of those a "real" meal (even though making ratatouille is probably just as easy).

Now don't get me wrong, I have made food in my life -- just usually with the help of others, for others.  It never made a lot of sense to make something just for myself.  It takes time and effort, and I can't eat it all anyway.

But I watched an episode of Castle last night (give me a break, I had a migraine), and there they were in the kitchen, cutting up their bright and beautiful vegetables in front of a roaring fire, and I realized that I want that. The time and space in my life to glory over food preparation.  To make things delicious and beautiful, the way my mother does.

I didn't put any plans into action -- because the truth is that I don't have the time or space right now -- but then I had a good day today.  I woke up, and got up (don't make me tell you what a massive achievement this is for me), and spent the day in the library.  And while I didn't get a huge amount actually written, it was a step in the right direction, and I did write some.  I signed up for meals (including breakfast) tomorrow, and in the afternoon I met with Professor Paul Fiddes to talk about Charles Williams, and Dr. Lynn Robson to talk about my dissertation.  And while I didn't make any new discoveries (I always knew I was falling back on my "images of Eve" option), it's still nice to know that a final decision has been made.  And I can't wait to start reading.  So much so, that I actually feel motivated to get this theory essay OUT OF THE WAY.  Let's hope that holds true tomorrow (or when I come back from seeing my MSt lovelies tonight).

All that to say, I got out of my last meeting, and had a sudden, irrepressible urge to make myself something real.  So I did.  I went to the store, bought an eggplant, courgette, onion, tomatoes, and freshly baked baguette, and came home and did some cooking.

And now, since the hot water is finally back on, I'm going to go take a shower.